Emotional Development in Children: Milestones and Support Tips

From a young age, children begin to grasp basic emotions such as happiness and sadness. Over time, more complex emotional skills develop, such as understanding others’ emotions, controlling impulses, and resolving conflicts constructively. Pediatricians and child development experts assess emotional development stages by age, monitoring growth related to self-awareness, attachment, and emotion regulation. Although every child is different and develops at their own pace, this process generally encompasses the following stages from infancy through school age.

Are we born with emotions? It’s theorized that emotions are biologically determined, and some primary emotions (e.g., anger, joy, fear) are innate and expressed within the first six months of life.² In infancy, babies learn to express themselves with crying, facial expressions, or laughing. For example, a wail can indicate displeasure stemming from hunger or discomfort. During this stage of emotional development in children, positive emotional bonds can form between babies and their parents or caregivers, providing comfort and safety.

The toddler stage introduces significant emotional growth in children as they become more independent. Children at this stage begin to recognize both their own emotions and those of others. Parents’ and caregivers’ guidance on appropriately expressing feelings and setting boundaries during this stage helps toddlers learn how to navigate their emotions constructively. This is best achieved through consistency and support that encourages the development of emotional resilience, while providing a sense of security.

During the preschool years, a child’s ability to understand others’ feelings grows as empathy develops. We typically see preschool-aged children expressing their emotions through play or teasing as they interact more with peers. These increased interactions also help them develop essential social skills, such as sharing, taking turns, and cooperation. With guidance, children at this stage can learn to better regulate their moods and manage strong emotions, often developing basic regulation strategies, such as going to a parent for comfort.

Although every child develops differently, there are general milestones commonly associated with emotional development stages by age.³

From birth to about 3 months, babies may smile responsively and begin to self-soothe when picked up or spoken to soothingly. At 4 to 6 months, they may chuckle or smile to gain attention and begin to communicate with emotions, like crying when a toy disappears or calming when picked up and held. They might also begin to respond differently to familiar caregivers than to unfamiliar ones. Around 7 to 12 months, attachment relationships with caregivers begin forming, such as crying when a parent leaves. They may also develop more of a sense of who is familiar and unfamiliar, which may lead to stranger anxiety.

A stronger sense of independence and self-awareness often develops, with toddlers wanting to do things on their own more often. They also may experience more frequent emotional highs and lows, including frustration and tantrums. At this stage, you may notice them beginning to recognize and express basic emotions like happiness, anger, and sadness more clearly. With gentle guidance, they may show early emotion regulation even if they’re still highly reactive.

At this stage, children typically begin to expand their emotional vocabulary and can name more complex feelings. They also become more aware of and better understand others’ emotions in simple ways, like noticing when someone else is crying and feeling sad. We also see engagement in pretend play, which can encourage emotional growth and support emotional processing. Although emotional regulation is still developing, more self-control may be displayed. Emotional development in children during this phase can also support further development of empathy as they learn new social behaviors, such as sharing and taking turns.

Once children hit school age, their emotional regulation tends to be more consistent and intentional. As friendships develop, peers can have a significant influence on emotional development. Increased social comparisons and recognition of achievement may support increased self-esteem. They may also begin to understand more complex or mixed emotions at this stage, while also developing more advanced coping strategies for stress and conflict.

When you nurture your child’s emotional development, you’re helping them build meaningful connections, work through challenges, and feel secure as they grow. You can support their emotional growth through everyday actions like providing a warm and secure home environment, setting clear boundaries, helping them put words to their feelings, and showing them what healthy emotional expression looks like.

Emotional development in children is largely influenced by their environment, especially during the infant and toddler stages. At home, you can support healthy emotional growth by creating a space where your child feels safe, secure, and heard. This includes modeling healthy emotional expression and offering consistent, gentle guidance as they learn how to manage and regulate their feelings.

Helping your child understand their emotions starts with simply noticing and naming what they are feeling in the moment. When you acknowledge their feelings, whether frustration, sadness, or excitement, you show them that their emotions are valid and safe to express. Simple tools like charts with facial expressions or emotion words can also make it easier for young children to connect feelings with language. If they become overwhelmed by an emotion, gently guide them by naming the feeling and offering small ways to cope, such as taking deep breaths or shifting their attention to something calming.

Children learn so much by watching you. By calmly naming your own emotions and talking through them, you show your child what healthy expression looks like. For example, saying something like, “I feel frustrated because I cannot find my car key, so I am going to take a deep breath and look again,” helps them connect feelings with actions. These small, intentional moments teach your child that emotions are manageable and that there are positive ways to work through them.